It Used To Scare Me

I have finally got out of the hospital. After two and a half years inside the institution my eyes squinted when they caught up with the shiny rays of sun. After a short adaptation period, my pupils narrowed back and my gaze widened and I started perceiving everything around me. The trees moving slightly with the wind, the busy road, people everywhere and I knew I have to raise my head high and go through all the hustle and bustle.

It used to scare me. Life used to scare the hell out of me. I could not handle life. Life are too unpredictable, too noisy. I needed silence. I needed order in my life, a routine that would not change every so often. I needed boundaries, tight boundaries and life did not offer the right conditions to satisfy my needs.

After I freaked out once I checked myself in the hospital. I liked it there. It was white and clean. Everything was in order. There had been a routine. Everything was predictable and I could handle it. I was thriving in the hospital. Writing my first two novels. They turned out to be best sellers. Who knew that people were so interested in the outlook of someone who's scared of life. But they were.

After two and a half years I have decided that I'm ready. That I am not scared anymore. I can handle life and I have checked myself out.

I am outside right now. Trying to conceal my terror. Trying to hide the slight shiver in my knees. The shaking of my lips. Trying to keep my head high and to live.



--Time's up--


P.S-
Though I'm using the first person - this piece of writing is totally fiction.