I have finally got out of the hospital. After two and a half years inside the institution my eyes squinted when they caught up with the shiny rays of sun. After a short adaptation period, my pupils narrowed back and my gaze widened and I started perceiving everything around me. The trees moving slightly with the wind, the busy road, people everywhere and I knew I have to raise my head high and go through all the hustle and bustle.
It used to scare me. Life used to scare the hell out of me. I could not handle life. Life are too unpredictable, too noisy. I needed silence. I needed order in my life, a routine that would not change every so often. I needed boundaries, tight boundaries and life did not offer the right conditions to satisfy my needs.
After I freaked out once I checked myself in the hospital. I liked it there. It was white and clean. Everything was in order. There had been a routine. Everything was predictable and I could handle it. I was thriving in the hospital. Writing my first two novels. They turned out to be best sellers. Who knew that people were so interested in the outlook of someone who's scared of life. But they were.
After two and a half years I have decided that I'm ready. That I am not scared anymore. I can handle life and I have checked myself out.
I am outside right now. Trying to conceal my terror. Trying to hide the slight shiver in my knees. The shaking of my lips. Trying to keep my head high and to live.
--Time's up--
P.S-
Though I'm using the first person - this piece of writing is totally fiction.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Catastrophe Averted
Lauren celebrated her new promotion with her girlfriends. They were hanging out in a posh bar downtown, drinking Manhattans and talking cheerfully to each other. Little did Lauren know that this meeting would be the last for a long time.
From her first day on her new role at the office, Lauren was bombarded with documents, phone calls, meetings, business trips. Her inbox kept on piling up. No plan she had made has ever came through. She was living from one event to another. No weekends, no holidays. No time to live.
On her birthday her friends had rented a fabulous beach house on a magical sandy shore. She had taken the day off and was waiting for that celebration like the farmers are waiting for the first drop of rain after the drought.
A day before her birthday the piles on her desk had reached a new height. She was working like a maniac, preparing for tomorrow, making sure she is going to have the day to herself and her girlfriends. It has almost been a year since they last saw each other at the promotion-party downtown.
She left her office at midnight. Exhausted and completely drained. The piles on her desk haven't even reached the half mark yet. She was worried. The next day, at 9 a.m., she got a phone call from the office. "There's an emergency. I wouldn't have called if it weren't so urgent. I'm sorry" The secretary said.
Lauren took a cab to the office and was frantically trying to handle the situation. More documents. More faxes. More phone calls and video conferences. At 10 PM she had left the office. Another catastrophe averted, but what about the havoc which is running in her private life?
--Time's up--
From her first day on her new role at the office, Lauren was bombarded with documents, phone calls, meetings, business trips. Her inbox kept on piling up. No plan she had made has ever came through. She was living from one event to another. No weekends, no holidays. No time to live.
On her birthday her friends had rented a fabulous beach house on a magical sandy shore. She had taken the day off and was waiting for that celebration like the farmers are waiting for the first drop of rain after the drought.
A day before her birthday the piles on her desk had reached a new height. She was working like a maniac, preparing for tomorrow, making sure she is going to have the day to herself and her girlfriends. It has almost been a year since they last saw each other at the promotion-party downtown.
She left her office at midnight. Exhausted and completely drained. The piles on her desk haven't even reached the half mark yet. She was worried. The next day, at 9 a.m., she got a phone call from the office. "There's an emergency. I wouldn't have called if it weren't so urgent. I'm sorry" The secretary said.
Lauren took a cab to the office and was frantically trying to handle the situation. More documents. More faxes. More phone calls and video conferences. At 10 PM she had left the office. Another catastrophe averted, but what about the havoc which is running in her private life?
--Time's up--
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Silence
Dana felt that something is missing in her life. She was living her life, waking up in the morning, going to work and going back to sleep at night, but she wasn't really living. Life was missing from her life.
A friend had sent her an e-mail a while ago with some information on vipaśyanā workshops in India. At first she wanted to delete it immediately, but for some reason she kept it in her inbox and she was reading through it again and again. Looking it up on Wikipedia. Checking up the prices of flights and accommodations and listing all the vaccinations which are required for a trip to India.
About a month later Dana found herself sitting on the ground in the heat of South Eastern Asia pressing down on her bare face. She was sitting in a meditating position and silently thinking to herself. It has been a week since she has last spoken to another person. Speaking weren't allowed, you could only speak to your heart and soul and reconnect with your inner will, but not have any oral connection with the people there.
She was in a deeply concentrated state, or maybe just dehydrated... Finally she saw clear visions of that evening. The evening her soul was stolen from her. The evening when she had sold her soul to the devil. This was the beginning of the end. She wanted to erase these memories completely but instead the workshop has brought back her darkest secret and most suppressed memory. She was shouting: "the silence does not bring meaning to my life. It brings me only misery" and then she felt the gentle touch on her shoulder. The priest brought her a glass of water and kindly motioned the way to the door. She was not talking to herself anymore. She has broken the silence.
--Time's up--
A friend had sent her an e-mail a while ago with some information on vipaśyanā workshops in India. At first she wanted to delete it immediately, but for some reason she kept it in her inbox and she was reading through it again and again. Looking it up on Wikipedia. Checking up the prices of flights and accommodations and listing all the vaccinations which are required for a trip to India.
About a month later Dana found herself sitting on the ground in the heat of South Eastern Asia pressing down on her bare face. She was sitting in a meditating position and silently thinking to herself. It has been a week since she has last spoken to another person. Speaking weren't allowed, you could only speak to your heart and soul and reconnect with your inner will, but not have any oral connection with the people there.
She was in a deeply concentrated state, or maybe just dehydrated... Finally she saw clear visions of that evening. The evening her soul was stolen from her. The evening when she had sold her soul to the devil. This was the beginning of the end. She wanted to erase these memories completely but instead the workshop has brought back her darkest secret and most suppressed memory. She was shouting: "the silence does not bring meaning to my life. It brings me only misery" and then she felt the gentle touch on her shoulder. The priest brought her a glass of water and kindly motioned the way to the door. She was not talking to herself anymore. She has broken the silence.
--Time's up--
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Boredom
Chris grew up in a very busy family. He had a busy mom, a busy dad and a busy big sister. Only Chris was not busy. He couldn't have been too busy, as no one in his house had paid any attention to him. They were all so too busy.
Chris had many toys but he wasn't interested in playing with toys.
Chris had many books but he wasn't interested in reading.
Chris had many DVDs but he wasn't interesting in watching them.
Chris wasn't interested in any of those things. Chris just wanted a friend. Someone with an attentive ear who would sit down and listen while Chris describes his day and tells what dreams was he dreaming last night. However, Chris did not have a friend. His family was too busy to become his friends and also too busy to introduce Chris to another friend.
In his boredom, Chris decided to go on a journey and to find a friend. His little hands turned the knob around and his little feet started walking down the street. No one noticed. They were all busy. Chris continued in his quest to find a friend. His little eye balls moving from side to side, searching for a friend.
Chris saw a man strolling with a huge bin and a broom and asked him "Do you want to be my friend?" but the man was busy and didn't answer. Then he saw a little girl riding on her red bicycle. "Do you want to be my friend?" he asked, but the girl was too busy, enjoying her ride, so she didn't answer.
Chris continued his search but everyone were too busy for him. He lowered his eyes and saw a ladybug crawling on the grassy path beside the sidewalk. He asked the ladybug "Do you want to be my friend" and the ladybug stopped and turned and started crawling again. Chris thought it might be a 'yes' the language of ladybugs so he followed it around, his eyes stuck on the ground, watching the ladybug crawl around.
The busy mom and the busy dad and the busy sister. The busy street cleaner and the busy littler girl on the red bicycle all stopped what they were doing when they heard an awful screeching sound. A car had run over a small kid who was following his new ladybug friend to his death.
--Time's up--
Chris had many toys but he wasn't interested in playing with toys.
Chris had many books but he wasn't interested in reading.
Chris had many DVDs but he wasn't interesting in watching them.
Chris wasn't interested in any of those things. Chris just wanted a friend. Someone with an attentive ear who would sit down and listen while Chris describes his day and tells what dreams was he dreaming last night. However, Chris did not have a friend. His family was too busy to become his friends and also too busy to introduce Chris to another friend.
In his boredom, Chris decided to go on a journey and to find a friend. His little hands turned the knob around and his little feet started walking down the street. No one noticed. They were all busy. Chris continued in his quest to find a friend. His little eye balls moving from side to side, searching for a friend.
Chris saw a man strolling with a huge bin and a broom and asked him "Do you want to be my friend?" but the man was busy and didn't answer. Then he saw a little girl riding on her red bicycle. "Do you want to be my friend?" he asked, but the girl was too busy, enjoying her ride, so she didn't answer.
Chris continued his search but everyone were too busy for him. He lowered his eyes and saw a ladybug crawling on the grassy path beside the sidewalk. He asked the ladybug "Do you want to be my friend" and the ladybug stopped and turned and started crawling again. Chris thought it might be a 'yes' the language of ladybugs so he followed it around, his eyes stuck on the ground, watching the ladybug crawl around.
The busy mom and the busy dad and the busy sister. The busy street cleaner and the busy littler girl on the red bicycle all stopped what they were doing when they heard an awful screeching sound. A car had run over a small kid who was following his new ladybug friend to his death.
--Time's up--
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Falling
This Daily Write is dedicated to the soldier Gilad Shalit who was abducted exactly two years ago from Israel and is now held by the Hamas.
Sometimes I dream that I'm falling and the shatter from the fall wakes me up. Sometimes I dream that I am crying for help but no body can hear me because the words don't come out. Sometimes I dream I am being followed and I cannot run fast enough and when I am captured, the trauma wakes me up.
About a year ago, around the first sad "anniversary" to Shalit's captivation, his evil captors had released a video with pictures of Gilad and his voice was at the background. He was crying for help. His face looked swallen and his evil captors had said that he needs urgent medical care but they won't treat him as long as he's there.
The tears started dropping from my eyes in long and wide perpetual streams. I was shivering when I heard Gilad's cracked voice, calling for help. Hundreds of thousands of people have heard him - if not millions - but he was not heard.
Gilad cannot wake up from his nightmare. He could not wake up when he fell captive. He could not wake up when he was followed and captured - on Israeli soil. He cannot wake up from his awful nightmare, he is crying for help but his voice isn't heard.
--Time's up--
Sometimes I dream that I'm falling and the shatter from the fall wakes me up. Sometimes I dream that I am crying for help but no body can hear me because the words don't come out. Sometimes I dream I am being followed and I cannot run fast enough and when I am captured, the trauma wakes me up.
About a year ago, around the first sad "anniversary" to Shalit's captivation, his evil captors had released a video with pictures of Gilad and his voice was at the background. He was crying for help. His face looked swallen and his evil captors had said that he needs urgent medical care but they won't treat him as long as he's there.
The tears started dropping from my eyes in long and wide perpetual streams. I was shivering when I heard Gilad's cracked voice, calling for help. Hundreds of thousands of people have heard him - if not millions - but he was not heard.
Gilad cannot wake up from his nightmare. He could not wake up when he fell captive. He could not wake up when he was followed and captured - on Israeli soil. He cannot wake up from his awful nightmare, he is crying for help but his voice isn't heard.
--Time's up--
Monday, June 23, 2008
Legal Tender
Lucy could barely stand up straight after the judge's ruling. Lucy was shaking and felt faint. How can she come up with half a million? She could barely cover the monthly rent and grocery payments.
She stood there on the defendant's chair for a long while after the ruling had been given. The court room had cleared out but Lucy remained seated. Stuck to her chair, unable to get up. In the back of her mind she wished love could have been a legal tender. She has love in abundance and she is delighted to share her love but it is promissory notes that she lacks.
The world would be such a beautiful place if love was accepted as a legal tender. There will be no hatred. No financial interests which are blind to people's suffering. No more fraudulence and bigotry as everyone is capable of loving thus will have no need for these awful regimens.
However, this is not the case and Lucy has to find a way to raise 500,000USD to pay her dead parent's debt.
--Time's up--
She stood there on the defendant's chair for a long while after the ruling had been given. The court room had cleared out but Lucy remained seated. Stuck to her chair, unable to get up. In the back of her mind she wished love could have been a legal tender. She has love in abundance and she is delighted to share her love but it is promissory notes that she lacks.
The world would be such a beautiful place if love was accepted as a legal tender. There will be no hatred. No financial interests which are blind to people's suffering. No more fraudulence and bigotry as everyone is capable of loving thus will have no need for these awful regimens.
However, this is not the case and Lucy has to find a way to raise 500,000USD to pay her dead parent's debt.
--Time's up--
Friday, June 20, 2008
Misconceptions
How do you meet up with a killer?
How did Abigail meet up with a killer? She woke up that morning. Brushed her teeth. Took a shower. Dressed up. Ate her favorite cereals and went off to meet a killer.
All the way to the meeting point, her mind was working relentlessly, thinking about the meet up and going through possible exit ways or horror scenarios, in which she won't get it to the way out of the building. Traffic was bad this morning and Abigail's brain was working overtime. She was seriously considering giving up on the meeting. At that moment, she was not only meeting with a killer, but a cold blooded terrorist who can kill with his own bare hands without a blink of an eye, only because of her roots and because of the land she was born and has been living in.
She was terrified. She was shaking and beads of sweat started dripping from her pores. She couldn't breathe and was sitting in the driving seat thinking over and over on all the fabulous reasons she had when she had first started to plan the meeting.
How do you meet up with a killer?
Ibrahim had the same crippling thoughts on his way to the meeting place. How do I meet up with a killer. How can I face a Zionist who kills children and steal the livelihood out of his people. How can I meet someone who was being breastfed with hatred and wanted me dead on the spot.
How do I meet up with a killer, they both thought. Until they have met.
In the meeting they have found out non of them was actually a killer. Non of them wanted to exclude the other person from the face of the earth. They were both people with individual interests. They even had some mutual interests. They could possibly even like each other.
They are not killers. Non of them. Just poor beings being caught in an age of misconceptions.
--Time's up--
How did Abigail meet up with a killer? She woke up that morning. Brushed her teeth. Took a shower. Dressed up. Ate her favorite cereals and went off to meet a killer.
All the way to the meeting point, her mind was working relentlessly, thinking about the meet up and going through possible exit ways or horror scenarios, in which she won't get it to the way out of the building. Traffic was bad this morning and Abigail's brain was working overtime. She was seriously considering giving up on the meeting. At that moment, she was not only meeting with a killer, but a cold blooded terrorist who can kill with his own bare hands without a blink of an eye, only because of her roots and because of the land she was born and has been living in.
She was terrified. She was shaking and beads of sweat started dripping from her pores. She couldn't breathe and was sitting in the driving seat thinking over and over on all the fabulous reasons she had when she had first started to plan the meeting.
How do you meet up with a killer?
Ibrahim had the same crippling thoughts on his way to the meeting place. How do I meet up with a killer. How can I face a Zionist who kills children and steal the livelihood out of his people. How can I meet someone who was being breastfed with hatred and wanted me dead on the spot.
How do I meet up with a killer, they both thought. Until they have met.
In the meeting they have found out non of them was actually a killer. Non of them wanted to exclude the other person from the face of the earth. They were both people with individual interests. They even had some mutual interests. They could possibly even like each other.
They are not killers. Non of them. Just poor beings being caught in an age of misconceptions.
--Time's up--
Thursday, June 19, 2008
War
In the winter of 1991, Taly's parents were carefully following the news. As an elementary school student, Taly didn't know what was going on, except for the fact that someone, with a huge mustache, which rules a country far, far away that is called Iraq, is threatening to send "dirty" missiles to Israel.
Taly didn't know what "dirty missiles" mean. In school there were very frightening demonstrations on how to wear the gas masks and how to shoot a drug with a special syringe in your thigh. She felt suffocated inside the mask and couldn't stand it, but the nice female soldiers who came over to her school for the demonstartions had told her it is very important to wear those whenever she heard a siren.
Not a week has passed by and already the siren started shouting. It was a Shabbath eve and everyone were in their beds when the high pitched sound of the siren started, going up and down. Up and down. Taly's parents were rushing her to the "safe room" and pulled out the wet towels and shoved them beneath the doors. Taly's father was rushing her to wear her mask quicklier, but he wasn't wearing his and Taly felt very frightened for his safety which had made her fight longer with the straps of the mask. She started crying and wanted to drink some water right away, which was difficult at the moment because of the mask. She could hear the explosions and saw her father's uncovered face turning as white as the sink in the safe room.
No one knew whether the missiles were dirty or not. It took a long hour before they were relieved. Not long afterwards it had happened again, and again, and again - until the war was over.
No dirty missiles were sent.
--Time's up--
Taly didn't know what "dirty missiles" mean. In school there were very frightening demonstrations on how to wear the gas masks and how to shoot a drug with a special syringe in your thigh. She felt suffocated inside the mask and couldn't stand it, but the nice female soldiers who came over to her school for the demonstartions had told her it is very important to wear those whenever she heard a siren.
Not a week has passed by and already the siren started shouting. It was a Shabbath eve and everyone were in their beds when the high pitched sound of the siren started, going up and down. Up and down. Taly's parents were rushing her to the "safe room" and pulled out the wet towels and shoved them beneath the doors. Taly's father was rushing her to wear her mask quicklier, but he wasn't wearing his and Taly felt very frightened for his safety which had made her fight longer with the straps of the mask. She started crying and wanted to drink some water right away, which was difficult at the moment because of the mask. She could hear the explosions and saw her father's uncovered face turning as white as the sink in the safe room.
No one knew whether the missiles were dirty or not. It took a long hour before they were relieved. Not long afterwards it had happened again, and again, and again - until the war was over.
No dirty missiles were sent.
--Time's up--
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Living In A Plastic World
Karen was excited about attending her high-school's 10 years reunion. She has become a successful business woman. She was pretty sure no one would recognize her. From a chubby girl with braces and thick eyeglasses she has turned into a beautiful and regal swan. Slim, tan and magnificently stylish.
On the night of the event she was standing in front of the mirror for a long time, examining herself, admiringly. She was wearing a figure-hugging Channel dress and a matching 8 inches Manolos. She looked stunning in black and the flashy diamond necklace, dangling and shining on her sculptured collar-bone, has finished off the look. She looked stunning and successful. She looked fabulous.
When Karen entered the conference hall all the eyes turned and all the jaws opened. Just like she had imagined. She has succeeded yet again. But was she really that successful? Living alone in her 5th Avenue mansion, wearing designer clothes and an exotic tan while most of her high-school friends had a life companion and a relaxed expression on their faces.
The reunion had snapped her out of the plastic world she is living in and into reality and she didn't particularly like what she saw.
--Time's up--
On the night of the event she was standing in front of the mirror for a long time, examining herself, admiringly. She was wearing a figure-hugging Channel dress and a matching 8 inches Manolos. She looked stunning in black and the flashy diamond necklace, dangling and shining on her sculptured collar-bone, has finished off the look. She looked stunning and successful. She looked fabulous.
When Karen entered the conference hall all the eyes turned and all the jaws opened. Just like she had imagined. She has succeeded yet again. But was she really that successful? Living alone in her 5th Avenue mansion, wearing designer clothes and an exotic tan while most of her high-school friends had a life companion and a relaxed expression on their faces.
The reunion had snapped her out of the plastic world she is living in and into reality and she didn't particularly like what she saw.
--Time's up--
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
A Fork In The Road
Tammy was perspiring greatly, her heart was throbbing and her eyes looking forward in an earnest glare. She was not looking down nor was she looking sideways and she was definitely not looking back. Tammy was afraid of taking her eyes off the road.
For the past 6 hours she has been walking in a steady pace and hasn't stopped for once, not even for a sip of water. She would not admit it but she was lost. Lost in the great planes of her childhood and the familiar paths of her early adulthood. She was lost and had no idea which way to turn. Looking forward was her best bet and so she kept walking.
Another hour has passed and Tammy was still walking. Slightly slower now. Her pace was less stable. She became a bit dizzy. A sudden rush of shivers has stricken her but she kept looking forward and walk.
Another hour has passed and Tammy could hardly see anything at all. Her eyes were watery and beads of sweat were blinding her. She felt drowsy and was about to give up when she finally got to the fork in the road.
Only there Tammy finally understood it wasn't the choice of each path to walk through but the journey itself that matters. Knowing she had failed she collapsed and shut her eyes, for the first time in her journey.
--Time's up--
For the past 6 hours she has been walking in a steady pace and hasn't stopped for once, not even for a sip of water. She would not admit it but she was lost. Lost in the great planes of her childhood and the familiar paths of her early adulthood. She was lost and had no idea which way to turn. Looking forward was her best bet and so she kept walking.
Another hour has passed and Tammy was still walking. Slightly slower now. Her pace was less stable. She became a bit dizzy. A sudden rush of shivers has stricken her but she kept looking forward and walk.
Another hour has passed and Tammy could hardly see anything at all. Her eyes were watery and beads of sweat were blinding her. She felt drowsy and was about to give up when she finally got to the fork in the road.
Only there Tammy finally understood it wasn't the choice of each path to walk through but the journey itself that matters. Knowing she had failed she collapsed and shut her eyes, for the first time in her journey.
--Time's up--
Monday, June 16, 2008
A Secret Wish
Danny Springhalm had it all. He was a handsome and bright young man who was destined for greatness. He was handpicked by the Secretary of State immediately after graduating Harvard, with honors. Nothing could have stopped him.
About 15 years later he was the most popular candidate for the presidency. His well planned route to success has proven itself. His popularity was skyrocketing and some experts said he might be supported by the highest percentage of the population in the history of the state.
Two days before the final elections, there was a news flash. "MR. Springhalm has had a car accident. A drunk driver had crashed into his car. It was a hit and run. The driver was killed on the spot and Mr. Springhalm is in a critical condition at the general hospital".
It seems the entire state has sighed at that moment. How could that have happened to their favorite candidate.
Suzi has entered her car park in a harry and the brakes have screeched. She was breathing heavily and all shaken. She couldn't forget that day in college, when she felt like the luckiest girl on earth, having such a perfect date with Danny. Until he drove to a secluded part of the university and turned into an octopus. She felt like he's all hands when he started grabbing her regardless of her never-ending pleadings.
This day Suzi had a secret wish, she wished Danny Springhalm dead.
--Time's up--
About 15 years later he was the most popular candidate for the presidency. His well planned route to success has proven itself. His popularity was skyrocketing and some experts said he might be supported by the highest percentage of the population in the history of the state.
Two days before the final elections, there was a news flash. "MR. Springhalm has had a car accident. A drunk driver had crashed into his car. It was a hit and run. The driver was killed on the spot and Mr. Springhalm is in a critical condition at the general hospital".
It seems the entire state has sighed at that moment. How could that have happened to their favorite candidate.
Suzi has entered her car park in a harry and the brakes have screeched. She was breathing heavily and all shaken. She couldn't forget that day in college, when she felt like the luckiest girl on earth, having such a perfect date with Danny. Until he drove to a secluded part of the university and turned into an octopus. She felt like he's all hands when he started grabbing her regardless of her never-ending pleadings.
This day Suzi had a secret wish, she wished Danny Springhalm dead.
--Time's up--
Friday, June 13, 2008
Hazy Hot & Humid
It was a Sunday on a hazy hot and humid day. The first day of the work week, but with this special feeling of summer joy and up and coming long yearned vacations. A goodbye party was being organized for our German intern.
It has been a week since the two soldiers was abducted in northern Israel and in the background we carefully followed after the dropping map. What an horrible map. A map that showcases the exact places in which missiles have fallen into houses, schools, hospitals and even kindergartens.
However, all that was happening in the north. Not far from Haifa - just about a half an hour drive up the road. But still, in the north.
As in every Sunday morning, I was chatting with the secretary and interns while slowly sipping my first cup of filtered coffee. Letting the caffeine to penetrate my veins and wake me up. We were joking and having a good laugh when I heard a huge explosion sound and the office, very modern and covered with floor to ceiling glass windows - shook violently.
I froze and turned as pale as the only wall we had at the office (in the bathroom) and shortly after began shaking myself. Involuntarily. Another two explosions occurred and my shaking got worse. The secretary tried to reassure me by saying it must be the digging of the Carmel Tunnels, when the siren began ...
The war has arrived to Haifa. There is no doubt now.
I hate wars. Especially on a hazy hot and humid summer days while staying at a glass castle.
It has been a week since the two soldiers was abducted in northern Israel and in the background we carefully followed after the dropping map. What an horrible map. A map that showcases the exact places in which missiles have fallen into houses, schools, hospitals and even kindergartens.
However, all that was happening in the north. Not far from Haifa - just about a half an hour drive up the road. But still, in the north.
As in every Sunday morning, I was chatting with the secretary and interns while slowly sipping my first cup of filtered coffee. Letting the caffeine to penetrate my veins and wake me up. We were joking and having a good laugh when I heard a huge explosion sound and the office, very modern and covered with floor to ceiling glass windows - shook violently.
I froze and turned as pale as the only wall we had at the office (in the bathroom) and shortly after began shaking myself. Involuntarily. Another two explosions occurred and my shaking got worse. The secretary tried to reassure me by saying it must be the digging of the Carmel Tunnels, when the siren began ...
The war has arrived to Haifa. There is no doubt now.
I hate wars. Especially on a hazy hot and humid summer days while staying at a glass castle.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Lighter Than Air
It was a hot summer day and the park was crowded with people. Some were catching a tan with skimpy little bathing suits and some were sitting next to the lake, under a bushy tree which casted shadow over their heads. Blankets were spread on the ground and there were fresh fruits, lemonade and sandwiches in abundance. Children were playing around ball games and hide and seek. Laughing and enjoying the day outside.
One of the sunbathers shouted "look up" and, like a magic, thousands of small and big eyes raised and looked at the sky. A big, shiny, red balloon was floating in the blue sky. In the absence of clouds the contrast between the shiny red ball and the azure sky was noticeable and beautiful.
All of a sudden there was a big explosion and the big red balloon was ripped. A transparent liquid, lighter than air, came out of it, floating around and masking the sky.
This day was the last day these children had seen the sun shining above their heads or the azure color of the sky.
--Time's up--
One of the sunbathers shouted "look up" and, like a magic, thousands of small and big eyes raised and looked at the sky. A big, shiny, red balloon was floating in the blue sky. In the absence of clouds the contrast between the shiny red ball and the azure sky was noticeable and beautiful.
All of a sudden there was a big explosion and the big red balloon was ripped. A transparent liquid, lighter than air, came out of it, floating around and masking the sky.
This day was the last day these children had seen the sun shining above their heads or the azure color of the sky.
--Time's up--
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Ruby Slippers
Lilly curled up at the corner of her room. She closed her eyes and shoved her little fingers in her ears to mask off the shouting and the horrible sounds of smashed furniture and her mother crying.
"What have you bought potatoes for, you know I hate potatoes. You are just wasting my money, you cow".
The noise kept creeping in Lilly's small room and she couldn't bare it anymore. She knew that it is just the beginning. In a moment or two a glass would break and shortly after a whole cabinet can be slammed onto the floor. It depends on how much did her father's boss put him down today and how big of a whole he has left in her father's soul to fill in with abusing her mom.
Lilly knew that after the meltdown her father would gently knock on her door, enter and sweet talk her to death. She would give him the benefit of the doubt while still hearing her mom crying in the background and then she would go to her mom and hug her and kiss her and try to consolidate her. "I know these potatoes were for me. I know this mommy. I love you, mommy".
At these times Lilly always wished she had those ruby slippers that Dorothy had. She would just wear them and run towards her mom and hug her really hard and knock her heels three times and go to a wonderful quiet place - away from her father's tantrum.
--Time's up--
"What have you bought potatoes for, you know I hate potatoes. You are just wasting my money, you cow".
The noise kept creeping in Lilly's small room and she couldn't bare it anymore. She knew that it is just the beginning. In a moment or two a glass would break and shortly after a whole cabinet can be slammed onto the floor. It depends on how much did her father's boss put him down today and how big of a whole he has left in her father's soul to fill in with abusing her mom.
Lilly knew that after the meltdown her father would gently knock on her door, enter and sweet talk her to death. She would give him the benefit of the doubt while still hearing her mom crying in the background and then she would go to her mom and hug her and kiss her and try to consolidate her. "I know these potatoes were for me. I know this mommy. I love you, mommy".
At these times Lilly always wished she had those ruby slippers that Dorothy had. She would just wear them and run towards her mom and hug her really hard and knock her heels three times and go to a wonderful quiet place - away from her father's tantrum.
--Time's up--
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Historical Fiction
Moses was on his way to the labor camp in Lodz. His 5 year old daughter held underneath his thin coat. "It is better she will be close to me. This way I can also give her my bread portion" he said to his wife.
Gaunt and droopy he started his long walk to work in a place that used to be owned by his family - the fabric factory in Lodz. He was almost there when a German soldier saw his little bulge. "halt!!" he shouted at Moses and motioned for him to go out of the line of workers.
Moses understood and closed his eyes, shedding a tear and saying a silent prayer. "Maybe you'd be better there, my sweet Sara". The soldier ripped his coat and than took Sara and shot her before her father's tearing eyes. His heart was ripped together with his coat.
The day afterwards the transport to Auschwitz was already on its gloomy way and on it, Moses and his wife stood silently, without their daughter.
The moment they got there, they were separated once again and Moses already knew what it meant. He said goodbye again. Another part of his 70 pound body had been ripped away from him and he no longer had his strength, so he shouted: "Hear me, my lord as, my lord, you are my god, my only lord".
I wish this story was indeed a fiction and not the story of my late grandfather, who I loved dearly.
--Time's up--
Gaunt and droopy he started his long walk to work in a place that used to be owned by his family - the fabric factory in Lodz. He was almost there when a German soldier saw his little bulge. "halt!!" he shouted at Moses and motioned for him to go out of the line of workers.
Moses understood and closed his eyes, shedding a tear and saying a silent prayer. "Maybe you'd be better there, my sweet Sara". The soldier ripped his coat and than took Sara and shot her before her father's tearing eyes. His heart was ripped together with his coat.
The day afterwards the transport to Auschwitz was already on its gloomy way and on it, Moses and his wife stood silently, without their daughter.
The moment they got there, they were separated once again and Moses already knew what it meant. He said goodbye again. Another part of his 70 pound body had been ripped away from him and he no longer had his strength, so he shouted: "Hear me, my lord as, my lord, you are my god, my only lord".
I wish this story was indeed a fiction and not the story of my late grandfather, who I loved dearly.
--Time's up--
Monday, June 9, 2008
Constrained
I want to live my life authentically. I don't want to be unique and I don't want to follow the herd. All I want to do is to lead a normal life in which I do only things I'm passionate about and enjoy the process of doing them.
All my life I feel constrained by other people's thoughts and common practices. If it is popular to be unique, I'm trying to be unique by wearing what the current fashion moguls dictate as unique. I'm reading the first book on the best-seller's list. I'm building my play list according to the rankings on the radio. Even my vacations are formed by the current "travel fashion", Choosing my destination from the latest travel magazine. One year it was the far east and now it's tropical heavens...
I have had enough. I want to live my own life. I want to take control over my choices in life and not to follow other people's opinions.
My journey towards unconstrained life begins at the day-to-day living. Before canceling all my magazine subscriptions and turning off the radio, I need to make sure I am doing exactly what I want to do every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go back to sleep. Every step I take - be it the choice I make for my breakfast plate - is truly mine.
--Time's up--
All my life I feel constrained by other people's thoughts and common practices. If it is popular to be unique, I'm trying to be unique by wearing what the current fashion moguls dictate as unique. I'm reading the first book on the best-seller's list. I'm building my play list according to the rankings on the radio. Even my vacations are formed by the current "travel fashion", Choosing my destination from the latest travel magazine. One year it was the far east and now it's tropical heavens...
I have had enough. I want to live my own life. I want to take control over my choices in life and not to follow other people's opinions.
My journey towards unconstrained life begins at the day-to-day living. Before canceling all my magazine subscriptions and turning off the radio, I need to make sure I am doing exactly what I want to do every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go back to sleep. Every step I take - be it the choice I make for my breakfast plate - is truly mine.
--Time's up--
Friday, June 6, 2008
It Was A Conundrum
Mike was sitting at his desk coding and listening to an upbeat music. His life has revolved around computers ever since he was a small child, playing around with his father's old Commodore. He has much evolved since than and he was now a top notch programmer in his field.
Mike was completely concentrated with his software when all of a sudden he heard a big blast and a flash of florescent light flashed his eyes. The next time he opened his eyes, a couple of days later, there was no light, no electricity. Almost every thing was either burnt down completely or scorched. The thick smell of the smoke made him sick.
Mike stood up. It was extremely difficult for him and he felt dizzy and weak, but slowly he managed to get up and go to the door. He opened it up and was stricken by the sight he saw. Everything was burnt down to the ground. Every thing that was once alive was now dead. From ashes to ashes, he thought.
He had no idea what had happened a couple of days ago, just after compiling his masterpiece. It was a conundrum to him, or wasn't it...
--Time's up--
Mike was completely concentrated with his software when all of a sudden he heard a big blast and a flash of florescent light flashed his eyes. The next time he opened his eyes, a couple of days later, there was no light, no electricity. Almost every thing was either burnt down completely or scorched. The thick smell of the smoke made him sick.
Mike stood up. It was extremely difficult for him and he felt dizzy and weak, but slowly he managed to get up and go to the door. He opened it up and was stricken by the sight he saw. Everything was burnt down to the ground. Every thing that was once alive was now dead. From ashes to ashes, he thought.
He had no idea what had happened a couple of days ago, just after compiling his masterpiece. It was a conundrum to him, or wasn't it...
--Time's up--
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